论毒舌，我墙都不扶，只服萧伯纳

说起萧伯纳 George Bernard Shaw，不少人都知道他是一位获得过诺贝尔文学奖的杰出剧作家，其实，他也是世界著名的幽默和讽刺大师。

萧伯纳毕生创造幽默，写下了《圣女贞德》(Saint Joan)、《伤心之家》(Heartbreak House)、《华伦夫人的职业》(Mrs. Warren's Profession) 等50余部作品。

在去世前，他把最后的幽默留给了自己，他的墓志铭这样写道:

I knew if I stayed around long enough, something like this would happen.

我早就知道无论我能活多久，这种事情迟早会发生的。

他还制造了一大波扎心的"毒鸡汤"语录，放到当代，绝对是刷爆朋友圈的网红段子，今天，就一起来领教一下他的"毒舌"功力吧！

• Lack of money is the root of all evil.

  缺钱是万恶之源。

• Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it. 自由意味著责任，正因为如此，多数人都惧怕自由。

• The wise never marry, and when they marry they become otherwise.明白人从不结婚，结了婚就不明白了。

• There are two tragedies in life. One is to lose your heart's desire. The other is to gain it. 人生有两出悲剧: 一是万念俱灰；另一是踌躇满志。

• Your future depends on your dreams. So go to sleep. 未来取决于梦想，所以赶紧睡觉去。

• There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning. 开始新的一天，应该有比每天早上一觉醒来更好的方式。

• "Work fascinates me", I can look at it for hours. "工作令我着迷"，我可以一看好几个小时。

• God made relatives; Thank god we can choose our friends. 上帝造就了亲戚；感谢上帝给了我们选择朋友的机会。

• Behind every successful man, there is a woman. And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.每个成功男人的背后，都有一个女人；而每个不成功男人的背后，有两个。

• If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for? 有人说我们来到这个世上就是要帮助别人的，倘若此话非虚，那么请问，别人来到这个世界又是干什么的？

• Since light travels faster than sound, people appear bright until you hear them speak. 由于光速比音速快，所以在我们听到人们开口之前，个个都显得很聪明。

• Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life. 每一个人都应该结婚。毕竟，幸福不是人生中唯一的东西。

• There is no sincerer love than the love of food. 没有比热爱饮食更真诚的爱。

• As you know, human beings are always overestimate the value of what they do not. 你可知道，人类老是高估了自己所没有的东西的价值。

• Choose silence of all virtues, for by it you hear other men's imperfections, and conceal your own. 诸般美德首选沉默，它能让你窥见他人的缺点，同时掩藏自己的不足。

• Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself. 生活不是寻找你自己，而是创造你自己。

• He who has never hoped can never despair. 从来没有抱什么希望的人也永远不会失望。

• Being silent is the perfect way to show contempt. 沉默是表示轻蔑的最完美方式。

• People become attached to their burdens sometimes more than the burdens are attached to them.人们估量肩上的担子有时重于担子的本身。

• The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man. 理性的人让自己适应世界；非理性的人坚持让世界适应自己。因此，所有的进步都依赖于非理性的人。

干了这碗名家出品的"毒鸡汤"，瞬间神清气爽有木有？其中的这几个英文单词，你记住了吗？

• Evil [ˈi:vl] – 罪恶，邪恶

• Dread [dred] – 恐惧，害怕

• Tragedy [ˈtrædʒədi] – 悲剧

• Desire [dɪˈzaɪə(r)] – 渴望，希望

• Fascinate [ˈfæsɪneɪt] – 着迷

• Relative [ˈrelətɪv] – 相关的，亲戚

• Bright [braɪt] – 明亮的，聪明的

• Happiness ['hæpɪnəs] – 幸福，快乐

• Sincerer [sɪn'sɪə(r)] – 更真诚的，这是比较级，原型是: sincere

• Overestimate [ˌəʊvərˈestɪmeɪt] – 高估

• Virtue [ˈvɜ:tʃu:] – 美德

• Despair [dɪˈspeə(r)] – 失望，绝望

• Contempt [kənˈtempt] – 轻蔑，轻视

• Attach [əˈtætʃ] – 附着，贴上

• Reasonable [ˈri:znəbl] – 理性的，合理的